Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Wise Words of Sam Witwicky

     No surprise that being away from home, a spoiled, teenage brat would suddenly realize how great her life back home was and how thankful she is. So, after being here for almost two months now, I couldn't help but jot down a list of all I have realized I am thankful for, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Watch out. Crazy things are happening.


1. My own room.
2. DVR on my t.v. (a huge one for me). Believe it or not, not having a DVR makes you eat more food. Proven fact I've encountered.
3. Home cooked meals (the closest I've come to one of those since being here is tacos and hamburger helper).
4. Having so many great friends I could call up any time who'd be willing to do something with a girl who always seemed to be gone.
6. Going to the high school football games.
5. Being able to watch movies, Razorback games, and t.v. shows in the living room with my family. (I secretly enjoyed cheesy family bonding times and these were perfect ways to make it seem nonchalant and just a coincidence.)
6. Being able to run in the exercise room and in front of a tv as I watched my most recent recorded show. (Running outside is something I've never been fond of and now am forced to endure.)
7. Having a television in the kitchen. (I always thought it was somewhat overkill having one there, but trying to cook (pancakes and hamburger helper are the extent) and watch t.v. in the living room is very, very difficult.)
8. Having cats that DON'T tear up everything they find or that don't lay on my clothes. (Ha, gotta love the cats here.)
9. Having my loyal dog by my side, whether outside, in the barn, or in my room. I miss her a great deal.
10. Being able to drive 25 minutes to visit my dad and stepmother any time I had the time and want to see them.
11. The crazy dachshund we call a part of our family.

     This may look like a pointless list to some, but to me it means everything. 
    To be completely honest, I did not think that I would miss my family and friends this much, and I did not believe too many people would miss me all that much as well. Of course, like almost always, I was completely wrong. Family was definitely something I took for granted. The great packages my mom sends me from time to time always make my day and a weekly phone call from my worried dad who continuously tells me to "be safe" are nice though.
     As for friends, I honestly didn't think I would miss them so much do to the fact I seemed to have hardly anything in common with anyone this past year at the high school. Due to my work load being incredibly heavy and my year competing Stoney being so crucial, I found myself stressed and tired a lot of the time. Although I tried desperately to be someone people wanted to be around, I felt like others didn't care either way as to whether or not I was around. I even found out at the end of the year I apparently had people just pretending to be my friend. How pathetic can that make a person feel? All you have to do is ask me. Because I was told by one person that people who don't necessarily know me tend to think I'm stuck up, I believed that everyone I knew perceived me in this way. I have never meant to come off as stuck up, but after having friends for such a long time who weren't all that interested in what I do, I finally excepted it this past year and didn't care that they didn't care. If that makes any sense at all. I guess that's why some got that from me. I thought most just saw me as "oh that girl who rides horses." Until I got here, I didn't realize there was more underlying all of the friendships I obtained. Although I was gone all the time, I enjoyed so much being around them and spending time with such great people, even if they didn't quite understand my passion. Once I was here for a few weeks and started getting texts and wall post on Facebook from my friends I left behind, I realized there were some who actually missed me. Crazy huh? I honestly teared up when I got a text from a friend (who I didn't see myself as too close to this past year) saying that things weren't the same without me there. I even have weekly phone conversations with a great girl who keeps me updated on all that is going down in Cabot, and I love hearing from her every week.

     Long story short, I didn't realize how many great people and things I was leaving behind. That's all it is.

     Don't get me wrong. I really do like it here and have learned so much in just the short time I've been here. Literally my first week here my brain was filled with more knowledge than I could have ever expected. I've learned how to better my horse's fitness, realized what type of food is best to build his weight/keep it on, and other great things a rider looking to go prelim should know. I have such a great facility to ride at with endless places to hack and trot.
     However, through it all, it has made me realize that my life at home, the one that I secretly couldn't wait to get away from, was far better than I ever realized. I took it all for granted and I wish every day it was as easy to see my friends and family as it was when living back home.
     Although the girls are great, it's quite lonely here, and I can't wait to visit home. Since Will was in England all summer and the girls didn't get to visit home for a week like they are usually offered (once in the summer and once in the winter), they are hoping Will will give them two weeks this winter to visit home, which can be split up in any which way (a few days at Thanksgiving and a few days at Christmas). I'm hoping this applies for me as well, but a part of me thinks it won't since I haven't been here too long.
     Everyday, I still tell myself I'm crazy for sacrificing so much for this goal. Like the incredible Sam Witwicky and his father said, "No sacrifice. No victory." I know that if I wasn't here, I wouldn't be seeing Stoney and myself moving up to prelim this soon. I can remember my mother mentioning it in the weeks leading up to leaving for Will's, and I just brushed it off thinking it was a fat chance. Looks like that incredibly corpulent chance has made its way to me.
     When coming here, my plan was to not move up to prelim until spring. It's beginning to look like God has a plan for me that I myself was not ready for. All I can do at this point is roll with it, because he has reminded me yet again that he knows way more at this point than I do and always will.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Interesting Recap of Five Points

     Stoney and I FINALLY got to compete at our first horse trials here this past weekend! Before I go on to describe how our interesting weekend played out, I would first like to apologize for not posting anything sooner. Seeing as we haven't competed at all, there wasn't much to talk about. I'm not even kidding. Each day of working on the farm kind of blurs together and I seem to lose track of time. We did, however, have two lessons with Bobby Costello (one show jumping and one cross country) which were really exciting, but for the most part, it's just been daily riding and lots of barn work and yard work.
     Again, before describing this past weekend, let me just say that the fact that we even competed and Stoney was sound was quite a feat on our part. This horse has gotten hurt four times now in the month and a half I've been here. I find this ironic when I had him at my house for a year and a half and he never had an injury. The only episode we seemed to have was when he got cast in the stall at Feather Creek Horse Trials, and even then he was not hurt and competed that weekend. What I also find ironic is how every time his injuries have happened, they have been within the week leading up to the show. He bumped his knee the week before a dressage show, he got caught in the fence and scraped up his leg two days before leaving for Waredaca H.T. in Maryland, and then he bumped his right front leg and got a splint on his left front doing God knows what the week before Five Points, the horse show we went to this weekend. Our vet, Tom, just said to take it day by day all week, with the splint hopefully healing well and not giving him problems, as well as icing it non stop, especially after riding. Every day this past week I kept holding my breath when we jogged Stoney each morning, hoping he was sound and mostly hoping he wouldn't find a way to hurt himself yet again before the show. Like I said, the fact that we were able to go and actually compete was a major ordeal.
      When walking the cross country course Friday night, I couldn't help but think of how every question on the training level course was something Stoney and I were more than capable of doing and were questions we'd either schooled or were already asked of us previously at another show. Height really isn't an issue with this horse. It's the combinations and more difficult questions asked of him that we are focusing more on. I also couldn't help but eye the prelim fences, thinking of how they looked quite fun and do-able for Stoney and I. This feeling that you get, the one where the level above you looks fun and the level you're riding looks boring and not challenging enough, is the feeling you get when you're looking to move up and almost ready to. Until this past weekend, I had not ever experienced this feeling while competing Stoney. It was only with Remi that I ever felt that we were ready for prelim. I can remember six months ago seeing preliminary level fences and thinking to myself, "There's no way Stoney could do something like that right now. We would probably both die." Boy how things have changed and in such a short time.
     Saturday morning started very early for us working students, and by early I mean up at 4 am (that's 3 am for all you back in central time zone) and out in the barn by five to take care of all the horses so we could leave for the horse park by six. It's only twenty minutes away, so we trailered out both days and the horses just relaxed in the four horse. I decided to get on Stoney an hour before my dressage time, seeing as he was a total butthead the previous morning when I tried to go through my dressage test, and I thought it best to almost just wear him out. Of course though, I would go out there an hour early only for me to pick up the reins after fifteen minutes of walking and him be a perfect angel the second I started putting him to work. I swear, this horse was game and ready to show his stuff. Even that morning on the trailer, he was a nousance and pawing the whole time. The second I got him out and began to saddle him, he stood still, got serious, and didn't even blow his gut out to prevent me from tightening the girth. He knew it was game time. So back to dressage warm up, like I said, such a perfect boy. I let him take a break since we still had a while, and as I began to pick him up again as we were getting closer, our amazing movement we contained previously had slipped away. With Stoney, he can either be extremely green/ADD/inexperienced acting on some days and extremely mature/incredible on other days. He started to revert back to his inexperienced self, whereas I would put my leg on only for greater impulsion, not speed, and he would squirt out from under neath me. However, instead of reverting back to my initial reaction of getting all handsy, resulting in him inverting and not moving forward with relaxation, I worked through it and got him back where he needed to be. Granted, it wasn't as amazing and effortless looking as it had looked previously, it was still better and acceptable. We ended up having a very exceptional test and pulled out a solid 40.0. After I saluted and thanked the judge, she complimented me on my horse, saying how he's "the kind of horse you like to see in the eventing world." I then thanked her again for her generous comment and she replied, "No, thank you." Seeing as I had the judge on my side, I had a feeling we would be placed well, and we were. We were 11th out of 30 riders after dressage. We didn't finish in the top five (which is our current goal at the moment), but I'd say that is pretty awesome for our first show back since June and our first time competing against these hard core east coast riders.
     So before cross country, I ended up having an unfortunate mishap which resulted in a black eye and two deep cuts on my face. Only a handful of people know exactly what happened, and I plan to keep it that way. I refuse to say what actually happened, but the EMTs gave me the okay to ride and then checked me once again before letting me go on course. With this happening only an hour before me needing to be on, I honestly didn't even want to go to the EMTs because I felt I had more important things that needed to be done. After seeing how deep the cuts really were and Jaz offering to take Stoney's braids out for me, I reluctantly went to have it looked at.
     Stoney and I started our course with him cross cantering and completely discombobulated all the way to the first fence, then landing on the wrong lead as we had to make a U-turn to fence two. I did, however, get a flying lead change out of him (: The course road quite well and I'd say half our jumps road well. The other half, however, didn't due to the fact that I couldn't see distances to save my life. I was either having to push him up to the longer one, holding my breath and hoping he'd jump from further away and not try to add, or I'd have to add and get really close to the base of the fence, just keeping my leg on the whole way til his feet left the ground. Not being able to find any distances could have had something to do with my previous injury to the head only a half hour before. Going out on course, I decided no matter where we got to the fence, I would just keep my leg on the whole way. Doing this, we would most likely be okay no matter how we got to the fence. We ended up having a stop at the water, but it was completely and totally my fault. It was a combination of a log with two strides after to a drop bank into the water. I rode it aggressively, just not as aggressively as I should have knowing my horse likes to peak at water. I just wasn't there for less than a split second, and that's all it took for Stoney to question it and refuse. The second approach, he had no hesitation what so ever and did not mind jumping in, another indication it was me and not the horse. What brings me frustration though is that literally a week ago with our cross country schooling with Bobby, we did the EXACT combination, a wooden coop with two strides down the bank into the water. After not having seen a cross country fence since the first weekend in June, I approached the combination and Stoney went in, only with slight hesitation. Obviously, another indication it was me and not the horse. Of course when I say it frustrates me, I mean I have frustration towards myself, not Stoney. And with my dumb slip up at our bank complex earlier on in the course, we could have easily had two refusals on course. Our 6th jump on course was an up bank (this being after a pheasant feeder and approached on a left turn) with a pretty decent size wooden roll top two strides after. Like I said, I couldn't find a distance to save my life. At the time, I didn't feel going for the long on this pretty decent bank was the way to go, so I added to make sure we really got to the base, only for me to have taken all his impulsion away from him. Way to go me. As soon as I got to the base, I knew there was no way we would get to the roll top in two strides and we'd have to add another step, resulting in a stop. I kept my leg on and kept riding as Stoney added three strides in the two strided combination. To my complete surprise and amazement, the horse ended up jumping the roll top practically from a stand still and pretty much crawled over it. I could not believe he had the dedication and made the decision to go for it even after I had completely failed him as a rider. He truly saved us, and I still can't believe he was so mature as to do something like that.
     After being exceptionally proud of my horse and extremely pissed at myself, my Saturday ended with me sitting in the ER for five hours that night while I waited for the doctor to glue the cuts on my face. Seeing at Kaitlyn still had to run Dudley that afternoon, I didn't get to the ER til around 5:30 (about four hours after my little incident). The cuts sliced completely through the skin and the white soft tissue could be seen. Thankfully, that was not torn and I did not need stitches. However, I now have two permanent scars that will be residing on my face for the rest of my life. What a thrill. I guess they give me more character.
     After getting home from the ER at 10:30, Sunday morning started yet again at 4 am for me and we were out at the horse park early and at it again. I got to kick myself yet again when I went to look at the scores that morning. If I had not made my stupid mistake the previous day and we had made it around with a clean cross country round, Stoney and I would have been in 5th place out of 30 going into show jumping. That was quite unfathomable for me and hard to take in. Our dressage was finally coming along and it was crazy to believe we would have been in the ribbons going into the final phase off our dressage score alone. I was so proud of my big man.
     After having a great warm up, Stoney jumped his heart out for me. We ended up having two rails, but both were mine. Coming out of a turn for fence five, a pretty decent size oxer with a related distance after to a vertical, I knew I would either have to push him up to the distance I saw (most likely resulting in him getting flat and hitting the front rail and also landing big and too fast to the next fence), or wait for it. I decided to wait and we just got a bit too close. He tried desperately but just couldn't leave the front rail up. After having to make a needed and huge jumping effort over another oxer, fence eight, we had yet another related distance to a skinny. I knew that it would be a miracle if we would even make it to the fence, let alone leave it up. Stoney, however, went for it, but the poor guy just wasn't put together enough (thanks to me) to jump it properly and the rail went down. Both of our in and outs, however, he really showed his maturity and improvement in leaving the rails up. He has finally gotten the hang of rocking his weight back onto his haunches before the fences in order to jump in a better frame and leave the rails up. We had no rails that were "just because" or his fault and I was so proud of the effort he put out. Like I said, he came out with his game face on. Even after the announcer shared our quite embarrassing amount of penalties we had racked up over the weekend, I came out smiling and quite happy. A random stranger standing near the ring complimented my round, saying it was well ridden and my horse was such a good boy. It only takes a few minutes of seeing a horse go to see if it is a nice mover, a great jumper, and has a good heart. I guess this lady was able to see how great my horse is. Without being biased in any way (ha, what a lie),I say she only saw a glimpse of how great a horse I have. <3
     The other girls also had really great weekends. Kaitlynn had a great cross country run on Benn as they made their second attempt at a prelim. Unfortunately, he was a little lame after and she withdrew to give him time off until the AECs. She had a successful novice round on her new baby she got only two weeks ago and managed to only disassemble a cross country fence and hit one stadium rail. All three of us counted that as a success! Haha Then Jaz finished in 4th in her prelim division on Pata, making for a great weekend before going to her one star at Plantation in a few weeks. Although on the ride back to the farm none of us said a word due to complete and utter exhaustion, we were all extremely happy with how the weekend played out.
     Even though it was not one of the best competitions for Stoney and I, I can honestly say it is definitely towards the top of the list with the proudest weekends of my horse's performance. It's nice to know that every mishap we had, every rail, was all because of me. None of the rails or refusals were his fault for a change. It's a great feeling knowing that now that my horse has improved and grown up so much, I just have to focus on myself more. This weekend, he showed for the first time that he craved for a great performance as much as I did. Not only did he show great maturity, a maturity that I have never seen come out in him, but he showed a great deal of heart and will to win. He got serious, down to work, and showed his stuff. At the end of the day, there is nothing more a rider can ask of their horse.