I promise you all I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Seeing as I've hopped from living in the New's trailer to Jacob's trailer, things have been a little crazy. Also, living here at the barn doesn't give me any internet access...except when I get a chance to steal Jacob's massive laptop. So, I can guarantee this will be short and sweet.
For every one who doesn't know already, I was not chosen for Area V's junior team this summer. After having a not so great ride at the selection trial (I'll get to that in a minute), I was told a few days later that I was chosen as the alternate and that Stoney and I (along with my groom, Erin) will still be going to Kentucky to help the two teams out. If something is to happen to a horse on the junior team within 48 hours of starting the competition, I will be put on to the team. Do I think that's going to happen? No, not really, but we are still training daily like that's the case.
I had one of my best dressage tests ever at Texas Rose (with the exception of a flying change in our counter canter), which put me in 7th after dressage with a 33.9. However, later that day I was elimnated in show jumping after landing off a big oxer and coming to the next fence on a half stride. After crashing through the fence, we made our second attempt after it was put back into place, where I then got the same ride in again. Stoney had already scared himself the first time, and there was no way he was going over it.
Even after getting eliminated, the selectors had me talk to the officials and they agreed to let me ride cross country Sunday. My confidence was completely shattered, in my best phase none the less, and I couldn't get it together in warm up. Before Heather went out on course to watch, she told me I better "ride him like I stole him." From the way she put it, I knew better than to screw up again and have to face her afterward.
We ended up running around clear and in the time, and it was quite a perfect ride all around. We then had to jog our horses up for the vet afterward, and Stoney jogged up great, expecially seeing as he had tweaked his leg in the paddock earlier that week and was a bit sore on it. We got through the week leading up to the selection trials with lots of icing, no turn out, and just flat work.
I honestly think that part of the reason we got eliminated was because I hadn't jumped in a week. My eye just isn't that good. At least I, Mike, and Heather now know that from now on I can't go that long without jumping. Whether it be on Stoney or another horse, I definitley need the practice. I also think that it just wasn't our day. Freak things just happen. In the years that I've been competing, that was only the second time I've ever been eliminated, and it just happened to be on a weekend that my stepdad (who hasn't seen me compete in more than four years) and my mother were there, as well as at the show that was one of the most important ones of the season.
However, it's all in the past now. There is nothing that can be done. I have continued training every day, and Stoney seems to be improving each time I get on him. Because this goal has been my focus for so long, it's hard to figure out what the next step is. I feel like I have been staring at a bright light for a long time, only for it to have been shut off, and now I'm left in the darkness with no sense of direction of where I need to go. Completely lost pretty much sums it up.
That being said, I was reassured this past week when I attended my orientation at University of North Texas that it is the place to be. Afte being there for three days, I felt like I actually belong there and that I'll have a blast at this school. I honestly can't wait to start there this fall.
As for the riding, I haven't made any decisions on what to do next. I feel that I'll be taking things a lot slower this fall. No, I'm not giving up riding or competing while I'm in college, but I definitley won't be going as hard core as I was. I think it's time for me to just focus on school, relax a little, and enjoy my time at UNT and out at the barn. Winston Churchill once said that “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” There has never been another option for me than to continue, and that is just what I'm planning to do.
I"m sorry for not updating this sooner and also for the fact that I won't be letting everyone know what is going on these next few weeks due to my living arangements and lack of internet. Until next time, I will most likely be relaxing in Mike's pool most afternoons with the rest of the gang, having movie nights in Big Bertha, and enjoying myself in Kentucky in just a few weeks.
