1. My own room.
2. DVR on my t.v. (a huge one for me). Believe it or not, not having a DVR makes you eat more food. Proven fact I've encountered.
3. Home cooked meals (the closest I've come to one of those since being here is tacos and hamburger helper).
4. Having so many great friends I could call up any time who'd be willing to do something with a girl who always seemed to be gone.
6. Going to the high school football games.
5. Being able to watch movies, Razorback games, and t.v. shows in the living room with my family. (I secretly enjoyed cheesy family bonding times and these were perfect ways to make it seem nonchalant and just a coincidence.)
6. Being able to run in the exercise room and in front of a tv as I watched my most recent recorded show. (Running outside is something I've never been fond of and now am forced to endure.)
7. Having a television in the kitchen. (I always thought it was somewhat overkill having one there, but trying to cook (pancakes and hamburger helper are the extent) and watch t.v. in the living room is very, very difficult.)
8. Having cats that DON'T tear up everything they find or that don't lay on my clothes. (Ha, gotta love the cats here.)
9. Having my loyal dog by my side, whether outside, in the barn, or in my room. I miss her a great deal.
10. Being able to drive 25 minutes to visit my dad and stepmother any time I had the time and want to see them.
11. The crazy dachshund we call a part of our family.
This may look like a pointless list to some, but to me it means everything.
To be completely honest, I did not think that I would miss my family and friends this much, and I did not believe too many people would miss me all that much as well. Of course, like almost always, I was completely wrong. Family was definitely something I took for granted. The great packages my mom sends me from time to time always make my day and a weekly phone call from my worried dad who continuously tells me to "be safe" are nice though.
As for friends, I honestly didn't think I would miss them so much do to the fact I seemed to have hardly anything in common with anyone this past year at the high school. Due to my work load being incredibly heavy and my year competing Stoney being so crucial, I found myself stressed and tired a lot of the time. Although I tried desperately to be someone people wanted to be around, I felt like others didn't care either way as to whether or not I was around. I even found out at the end of the year I apparently had people just pretending to be my friend. How pathetic can that make a person feel? All you have to do is ask me. Because I was told by one person that people who don't necessarily know me tend to think I'm stuck up, I believed that everyone I knew perceived me in this way. I have never meant to come off as stuck up, but after having friends for such a long time who weren't all that interested in what I do, I finally excepted it this past year and didn't care that they didn't care. If that makes any sense at all. I guess that's why some got that from me. I thought most just saw me as "oh that girl who rides horses." Until I got here, I didn't realize there was more underlying all of the friendships I obtained. Although I was gone all the time, I enjoyed so much being around them and spending time with such great people, even if they didn't quite understand my passion. Once I was here for a few weeks and started getting texts and wall post on Facebook from my friends I left behind, I realized there were some who actually missed me. Crazy huh? I honestly teared up when I got a text from a friend (who I didn't see myself as too close to this past year) saying that things weren't the same without me there. I even have weekly phone conversations with a great girl who keeps me updated on all that is going down in Cabot, and I love hearing from her every week.
Long story short, I didn't realize how many great people and things I was leaving behind. That's all it is.
Don't get me wrong. I really do like it here and have learned so much in just the short time I've been here. Literally my first week here my brain was filled with more knowledge than I could have ever expected. I've learned how to better my horse's fitness, realized what type of food is best to build his weight/keep it on, and other great things a rider looking to go prelim should know. I have such a great facility to ride at with endless places to hack and trot.
However, through it all, it has made me realize that my life at home, the one that I secretly couldn't wait to get away from, was far better than I ever realized. I took it all for granted and I wish every day it was as easy to see my friends and family as it was when living back home.
Although the girls are great, it's quite lonely here, and I can't wait to visit home. Since Will was in England all summer and the girls didn't get to visit home for a week like they are usually offered (once in the summer and once in the winter), they are hoping Will will give them two weeks this winter to visit home, which can be split up in any which way (a few days at Thanksgiving and a few days at Christmas). I'm hoping this applies for me as well, but a part of me thinks it won't since I haven't been here too long.
Everyday, I still tell myself I'm crazy for sacrificing so much for this goal. Like the incredible Sam Witwicky and his father said, "No sacrifice. No victory." I know that if I wasn't here, I wouldn't be seeing Stoney and myself moving up to prelim this soon. I can remember my mother mentioning it in the weeks leading up to leaving for Will's, and I just brushed it off thinking it was a fat chance. Looks like that incredibly corpulent chance has made its way to me.
When coming here, my plan was to not move up to prelim until spring. It's beginning to look like God has a plan for me that I myself was not ready for. All I can do at this point is roll with it, because he has reminded me yet again that he knows way more at this point than I do and always will.
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